New Year's Revision

I wanted to share with my readers the revised goals for this blog and feed for the New Year. Thought I'd start with a word about how this blog came to be.

I don't think any survivor of CSA wants to retell the story of their abuse--its too painful and the risk is often fresh abuse. As a child I was silenced. I've moved as far away from that place and those memories as possible to build a new life and new memories. But I somehow could not get away from mail from the school. To someone else, the slick color photos would show a sprawling green campus with stately neo-goth buildings. To me they were unwanted and jarring reminders of where I lived for 4 long years in the shadow of sickly abuse by faculty. And unwelcome photos showed the places of my abuse, Cluett Hall, Dann Building, and All Saints Chapel. Each time I got alumni mail, I had to call them up, ask them how they got my address, demand that I be taken off the list (again). More than once, I had to get counseling, take leave from work and even move.

So I started the blog after the last mailing, to try and put a final end to the mail. And to reach out to other survivors from the school to see if together we could confront the school to demand a public apology. That idea failed. And it failed because the leadership at the school will never acknowledge its own role in that abuse despite all those who have come forward. For that, the school will never willingly apologize. So we will continue to broadcast this failure as a warning to others.

My main goal for the new year is to continue to reach out to other survivors with one simple but clear message: sexual violence against anyone, especially children, is never the victims fault. The shame of abuse lies solely with the rapists and those who keep victims silent. And speaking out about abuse is the best way to fight back.

In the coming weeks, we will be putting up an online resource for male survivors of child sexual abuse. The site will focus on how survivors can empower themselves and get their abusers names on public record. More information to come.

Happy New Year